Another Haven Gone

We do not remember days,

We remember Memories...

Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us...

I began this post with somewhat solemn and gloomy quotes. Quotes on moments, memories, those unforgettable ones, forever etched even at the deepest core of your head. You might think I am onto something quite serious here. Truly, for me, it is indeed serious. But for those who read what eventually lies on the lines of this post, perhaps you wouldn't really understand.

I hadn't even totally moved on from the devastating fire that conquered the Ever Gotesco Grand Central Mall in Caloocan City last May 2012, I heard yet another bad news that Tutuban Mall was on fire. You know the feeling like your head had swollen and tiny pricking needles are etched on your entire skin? I felt like my eyes wanted to bulge out of my sockets and my mouth was practically on the floor. 

Denial. Disbelief. Whatever. 

I cried. I cried hard. 

Grand Central Mall was my childhood mall. From my elementary to high school to college and to then-present days, next to my home and our office, this has been like a third home. Whenever I take the LRT, this is where I took and drop off. I've met a lot of strangers that I made friends with in here. Oh and my favorite, the Department Store. Fabulous stuff at fabulously low prices. Honestly, this was where I bought most of my Birthday clothes, Christmas Clothes and almost-all occasion clothes. I love the huge ukay-ukays and tiangges. I know the pasikot-sikot of this mall like the back of my hand. I'll never get lost in here, or I can loose myself in it because it felt like home. I told myself, no matter how many huge and extravagant SM and Ayala malls lined up the Metropolis, I knew I would always find myself going back to this old, falling apart and dull-looking mall that had been in Monumento since I was a baby. It's probably even older than me. Then she was gone. Somebody killed her.

It felt like a lot of my memories had gone into the Pyre as well. Whenever I had the craving to buy a dress or a bag, my feet automatically runs for her. And when I felt like it now, I'll just realize that I have nowhere to go. Then I would think that there's still Tutuban Mall. Another Go To place for me. I believe it's everybody's shopping mecca anyway. I'm not as frequent to Tutuban as I was with Grand Central due to proximity. But I make sure that everytime I go, I hoard! like a lot. I buy my fabrics there and wigs, I leaned how to haggle at the best possible discount. It feels paradise-like. The clothes are absolutely up to date. and what do you know? Somebody killed her as well, just this Monday.

Now I really don't know what to think. I have made a lot of "suki" from Tutuban and I just can't imagine that all those stores, those beautiful fabrics, the RTWs, the accessories, the shoes, all of it, destroyed. Now I can say there's really no more place for me to go. I'll be honest, I don't shop at malls. I couldn't find the practicality in it. I guess I don't really have a choice do I? I felt so stuck. I wanted to go somewhere, buy something, but I can't. I can just look at the stuff I got from there and know that I can't go back there again.