"Talk Me Down"

"I'm too tired to go to bed
I'm too wired for anything except
The crossfire in my head
It's been a long night 
Cos I took all I can take
Til the walls shook and the windows break
I want to phone you but it's far too late
It's been a long night 

So talk me down
Talk me down
Talk me down
Talk me down"
...

First off, I'm having a nostalgic Westlife attack today. Mainly because I couldn't find a decent enough copy of the song in my MP3 downloader. Last time I got a copy, it went like 

"So talk me, so talk me, talk me, me, me, me..@#$%^#!#*" 

and I had no choice but to delete it. I really love this song, especially that Mark Feehily sang it solo. Goodness, how eargasmic he sounds. ♥ Perhaps you may be silently screaming "gay" while you're reading this and I could care less. First off, Westlife is the boyband of my adolescent years. Yes, there's BSB, then there's N'Sync or A1 and blah blah but my heart belonged to Ireland. To say I was a super fan girl is still an understatement. Gawd, I was obsessed. I had posters on all corners of my bedroom. I had several CD copies for one album, had hundreds or even thousands of photos downloaded, printed and compiled in my tens of file folders. I dreamed and day-dreamed about them, wrote fan fictions and wrote fan letters to Ireland. 

It saddens me still that when I stepped into College and parted ways with my High School friends who shared the same kind of passion with Westlife, I eventually deviated as well from their music, from the young childhood memories I created myself. I tasted a different kind of music in an entirely different world which I wholeheartedly embraced. Sometimes, I hear them over the radio and I knew, somewhere in me, it resurfaces. They had concerts in Manila which I neglected. I remembered how much I cried when I failed to watch their first concert in the Philippines. It felt alien to me, ignoring Westlife. Until finally, I realized I was over them.

When they announced that they were disbanding this year, I blanched. And everything came back to me in a rush. I guess I learned well in neglecting them though, that I forgot about it the following days. Months after they have officially disbanded, I found myself one day, watching music videos in YouTube  reading articles, downloading photos once more. I downloaded songs which I had not heard of ever, from the albums that I chose to ignore then. I watched their last ever concert in You Tube which was held at their homeland. I felt bad, and sad, aggravated somehow. I felt saddened that I parted ways with them like that. And all I have are memories of me and my ridiculous obsession when I was thirteen.

And now that this post is almost done, I sure know how superficial I may have sounded. It's funny, that I created a tribute out of the blue, months after the disbanding had happened, without any special occasion today related to Westlife. I guess it's just the memories that told me to write because I have wanted to do so for the longest time. Honestly, it made me feel THAT bad and in some way, it felt lighter that I wrote about it today. I guess I can say I'll always be that Westlife fangirl from my sixth grade. ♥

Chiao~